Plan B from Outer Space

So, chop chop. Use your shapeshifting powers, disguise the ship, and find a way to escape this wretched planet post-haste. How should I know. We were just flying through space, minding our own alien-business, when – bang. – a meteor hit us right in the quoxel-bladder. Where did we go down. Looks like we crash-landed on this strange world. I am just a highly developed AI. My scans show we are in a strange land of beer… pretzels. and erm, BAVARIANS. Stay vigilant, stay ready and stay slimy, s.
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